The Begats

Discussion in 'Ideas' started by jjl, Feb 6, 2018.

  1. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    Oddly enough, until the Caucasians landed in Polynesia, the Hawaiin royals only married to brothers and sisters that they were raised to adore.
    The visitors noted the extraordinary physical health and well being of these inbreds.
    That is until so many fell ill and died from white Christian diseases.
    But I digress.
     
  2. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    Eventually, Royals began to mix it up a little. Resorting to marrying the nobles from other countries, or raising up other families that showed promise, high enough to infuse a little fresh blood into the old and tired Royal platelets.
    But I still wonder where the vanity came from, to imagine that they had the only line to success.
    Most of the time they couldn't even stand each other.
    If you were a Royal Egyptian long ago, you had as much to fear from your sibling/spouse as you might have from any murderous crowd.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2018
  3. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    So Ancestryblah blah was turning a neat profit and adding to their personal database of lineage at the same time. These religious societies are so fucking secretive that I can only guess that they have an eagle eye out for certain family lines.
    Perhaps one of their prophets forewarned them of particular Begats.
    Either way, this website became a huge success overnight.
    Never underestimate a person's interest in themselves.
     
  4. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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  5. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    Soon the tests were being used to predict certain diseases. This was especially helpful to adoptees and families with a sketchy history.
    http://www.genesinlife.org/testing-services/testing-genetic-conditions/predictive-testing

    You could do a paternity test with little more than a c-note, a cotton swab, and cost of a stamp.
    One of the many odd family members that popped up when I found my siblings was rumored to NOT be part of my Dad's bloodline. It had been a complicated history hidden from my sister and me for so long, that most of the players were dead or too old and dotty to remember details. Or perhaps they were unwilling to share them with us. I will never know.
    So here we were, my sister, mom and me, in Florida with a self-proclaimed half-brother. I didn't really give two shits. After all, despite the rumors, my father had allowed his name to go on the birth certificate. To my mind, this made our dad the same.
    Trouble was, the guy was so creepy and unpleasant, my mom and sister were anxious to prove there was no shared DNA among the siblings.
    We had been sitting at an outside table eating take-out when Brother decided to visit the men's room. I was clearing my trash and asked if he was done with his meal. He told me to go ahead and pitch his stuff along with mine.
    The moment he rounded the corner, Sister snagged his emptied bottle of water, gently screwing the cap back on with a napkin.
     
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2018
  6. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    My mother whispered to my sister that she would pay half the cost of a mail-in DNA test.
    That is until they both discovered that collecting evidence so nefariously, made it more expensive to process.
    It was just easier to avoid him when he called.
     
  7. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    [​IMG]
    This was a popular gift for the Holidays last season.
    I suspect it will replace a few roses and heart-shaped boxes of confections in the next week.
    You can get it from Walmart, with free two-day shipping for 29.99 (if you live in the US).
    Who could pass up such a deal?
    Not many.
    Some people are looking for relatives, others for genetic weaknesses. Some want to trace family lore, to see if they actually DO originate from Attila the Hun.
     
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2018
  8. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    I have a friend in real life that has an odd bloodline but illustrious all the same.
    That is what he has heard at least.
    And the whole DNA thing spooks him a bit personally.
    What if they are looking for someone in particular?
    He asked me this in private, one afternoon over coffee.
     
  9. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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    One of the benefits of having a reputation for crazy is, people are drawn to spill their confessions to me.
    Maybe they see me forgiving myself for my own psychological shortcomings and it comforts them to know I won't judge.
    I was in two listening professions most of my adult life. Bartending, and Hairdressing.
    People tell you all sorts of secrets when they are drunk or you are touching them.
    I met my friend a few decades ago, by cutting his hair. I usually socialize with his wife.
    But I stopped by their place on an errand one day, his wife was gone and he offered me a much-needed cup of coffee. It had been a busy, breakneck, day.
     
  10. jjl

    jjl Queen of Rockville

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