To Bee Or Not To Bee (a Bee-odyssey)

Discussion in 'Environment' started by jjl, Feb 18, 2016.

  1. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    After about twenty minutes, Jim managed to walk off the furious cloud and we stood in the basement talking over what should be done.
    Because with only the inner cover on, the hive was essentially still open.
     
  2. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    The weather is going to be fine, Jim tried to assure me.
    It isn't good Beekeeping I told him.
     
  3. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Our negotiation sounds something like this:
    Me: Somebody has to go put the outer cover on that hive
    Jim: Are you sure? It's only a small opening on the top. They live in the wild for God's sake!
    Me: I can't imagine trying to explain to anyone I know, why it was a good idea to leave the hive open like that. It's lazy bad Beekeeping.
    Jim: What do you think we ought to do?
    Me: Close it up of course!
    Jim: Which one of us? It won't take both. I guess I can do it.
    Me: OK then, but we should wait a bit. Let them calm down again.
    Jim: Uness you want to.
    Me: Me?
    Jim: You're better at this stuff.
    Me: But you have real gloves on.

    Jim pulls his gloves off and hands them to me. Mind you, it was a weak excuse, to begin with, I have several pairs of real bee gloves in my kit on the back of my truck.

    I suggest we go out and get some lunch. Let the girls settle in few hours and then I will return to put them in order.
     
  4. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Two hours later, we return, full of pizza.
    My hands were too swollen to hold a knife and fork.
     
  5. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Did I mention it was hot as fuck that day and I am wearing a long sleeve jacket and sweat pants over my shorts? Then, of course, my hands and head are covered.
    I hate the heat.
    I pound down a quart of water before I get dressed again.
    Then I get another Giant fire going in my smoker.
     
  6. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    The Bees hardly wait for me to step in the yard before they cover me.
    I try to keep my cool, and I pick up the outer cover and place it on top.
    But it won't drop over the box properly. It's as if the box has suddenly grown wider than the telescoping cover. Finally, the bees are penetrating my jacket and pants so the cover rests on top of the box, crookedly, and I smoke and walk off the bees. But it takes to the end of my mother's road to rid myself of them.
    Back at the house, Jim and I stand back to behold the terrible job I have done, closing up the hive.

    It's still closed up, Jim tries to reason with me.
    It's terrible and you know it, I retort.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2017 at 1:17 AM
  7. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    We wait another hour.
    But soon it will be dusk and the only thing that would be worse for us than what has happened so far, would be to mess with a beehive after dark.
    Jim gets dressed again, but he doesn't even make it in the yard before he is covered in them once again.
    Our clothes smell like venom now and it alerts the bees that we must be killed no matter what cost.
    I watch Jim walk off the street again.
    I don't see him for another fifteen minutes.
    But I have finally had enough.
    I head into my sister's closet and put on two sweatshirts, two sweat pants, double socks.
    I put two pairs of nitrile on before adding my leather gloves over them.
    Before putting up my veil, I slide the sweat hoods over my head.
    The temp outside has dropped to about ninety, so this clothing should keep me safe for about ten minutes before I expire from the heat.
    I start the second smoker with some foolproof fuel I had stashed for emergencies.
     
  8. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Once in the Bee yard, the girls cover me again and happily sting away, or attempt to.
    After I remove the top cover, I see the inner cover isn't flush with the opening and overlaps the box an inch. This is why it wouldn't close up properly.
    It takes a minute to unglue it, in this heat, the propolis is a very effective adhesive.
    At last, it is back together again and I exit the yard smoking myself furiously. Trying to walk off the bees for the last time.
    Jim joins me silently. He is followed by his own cloud of bees.
    I start to smoke him and holler at him to return the favor.
    Then the nosey neighbor steps into the scene.
     
  9. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    The bees continue to follow us to the end of the street.
    "Come this way" I advise Jim. We head up a long driveway of a childhood friend. I don't know who lives here now.
    "Won't we get arrested?" Asks Jim nervously.
    We have lost about half of the bees so far and I point at some woods that we cut through. We end up in neighbors back yard and continue on a few more back yards until we come to my mother's. By now we only have about a half dozen bees with us.
    There is a six-foot fence for the dogs in my mother's back yard.
    I stand there and holler for a minute, but my mother has her TV on full blast, and my sister is on the internet with noise cancelling earphones.
    We both climb the fence, I tear one of my sister's sweatshirts.
    On the other side of the fence, there are only two bees remaining.
    I rip off my veil and jacket, sweat is streaming down my scarlet face.
    A Bee bumps off of me. She doesn't want to sting, only warn me.
    I slip into the back door and urge Jim to join me. He is afraid the Bees will follow him.
    "They're only giving warning bumps, you're good," I promise him.
     
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2017 at 2:09 AM
  10. jjl

    jjl hhotah hhotah

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2015
    Messages:
    1,884
    Likes Received:
    370
    Trophy Points:
    81
    Once inside, I count over thirty stings on my wrists and hands.
    Jim has taken four to his leg and top of his head.